Making Use of This Newfangled Internet Thing

Are you an avid follower of this here li'l ol' blog?

Do you enjoy reading my musings, opinions, and occasional rants?

Are you on Facebook and/or Twitter?

That's What I Was Going To Say now has an official Facebook fan page, and an official Twitter account! Fan TWIWGTS on Facebook and follow @TWIWGTS on Twitter, and always be in the know when new posts go up. Also, there are plans in the works for some Facebook-specific and Twitter-specific content, contests, fun and games. Why, it'll be like being in a special club!

Who wants to help build the clubhouse?

Friending Me on Facebook: You're Doing it Wrong (5 Tips For Networking On Facebook)

I've mentioned in previous posts that I am a firm believer that social media should be just that: social. While I understand and respect those who choose to limit their friend lists to those people with whom they have interacted in some way in the real world (former classmates, ex-coworkers, family and friends, etc.), I also feel they are missing out on one of the great joys that social media offers.

The ability for the average person to meet and converse with people from all across the world at the touch of a keyboard simply didn't exist a short few years ago. Now, thanks in large part to sites like Facebook, there is little difference between "across the street" and "across the globe." While this has been a boon for the professional networking crowd, it's also a chance for anyone to expand their horizons beyond their physical location. The people that you can connect with online and who become "cyber-friends" are the 21st century equivalent of the pen pal, without having to wait weeks to receive replies in the mail.

I have met and built friendships with many wonderful folks on Facebook who I will likely never have the chance to meet in person due to the distance between our physical locations. I have connected with folks as far away as Indonesia, India, France and the UK, networking both for business purposes and out of shared interests discovered through common Facebook groups or other online interactions. I tend to keep an open-door policy when it comes to accepting friend requests, as I am always interested in meeting new people. However, in the interests of safety and sanity (there are some real wackos online!), there are some basic guidelines I use in determining whether I'm going to accept that request. These are guidelines I also follow when I am extending a friend request to someone.

Last week, I received a friend request from someone who broke almost every one of these guidelines. I had to chuckle to myself as I hit the "ignore" button, as this person was clearly unskilled at the most basic concepts of networking, which happen also to be the foundation for these guidelines:

1. If We Haven't Met, Introduce Yourself. Facebook offers an option to include a personal message when you send a friend request. If you are reaching out to someone you have not met before, take a moment to add a sentence or two explaining why you're reaching out. Something like, "Hi, I noticed that you and I have several mutual friends here," or "I saw your profile and we are both fans of _____," or even "I am interested in meeting people from your part of the world." Something that gives me an idea why you are reaching out to me, so you're not mistaken for some weirdo stalker type.

2. If We Have Met, Don't Assume I Remember Who You Are. Especially if the only place we've met is another online service. (Twitter folks, I'm looking at you!) Whether we've talked on Twitter, met at a social function hosted by a common friend, or have interacted briefly in a business context, it helps a great deal to see a note saying, "I'm @twittername," "We met at John Doe's house last week," or "I work for XYZ Inc, and would like to add you to my contacts." Trust me, not everyone's memory is as superb as yours may be. This also applies if you are reaching out to someone from your past - a simple "I sat behind you in history in 8th grade," may make the difference between your request being accepted or tossed into the "ignore" bin.

The person who sent me the mystery request that inspired this post included no personal message, so I all I got was a name that rang no bell with me whatsoever. Had I ever met this person before, anywhere? If not, why was I being invited to join his Facebook circle?

3. Fill Out Your Profile Page, And Make Sure your Settings Allow Me To See It. If I don't know you well - or at all - believe me, the first place I'm going is to your profile page and the "about me" section. I want to know if we do have interests in common, or if there is something especially interesting about you that sells me on adding you as a friend. Be honest, but be creative - have a little fun with your profile page. Let your personality come through your words; this is one of those times when it is better to write the way you talk rather than stick to stodgy rules of composition. This is your first impression, and first impressions count!

Also, make sure you've got your privacy settings structured so that at least your basic "about me" info is viewable. The mystery person last week had his entire profile set to private, so again all I had was a random name. Even without the explanatory message, an interesting or unusual profile might have sold me.

4. Use A Photo Of Yourself As Your Profile Pic. That profile picture is extremely important! Some folks' memories are better jogged with a visual than anything else. Yet so often I get friend requests with no picture - or, worse yet, a meaningless picture. Use a picture of yourself. Not your family. Not your dog. Not your car. Not Bob Hope. Yourself. Preferably a head shot - remember, the pics aren't that big to begin with, so if the picture is of you rappelling down a rocky cliff, you're going to look like a shadowy smudge on my monitor.

Keep in mind that your profile pic can also work against you. The mystery friend request last week included a picture of a car (I assume owned by the person who sent the request), a high-end, high-dollar sporty number. All that told me was that this person either a.) is so materialistic as to believe others are going to be impressed by his wealth, or b.) is so shallow as to believe it important to project that image. In either case, that's a direct ticket to the "ignore" bin in my book.

5. Be Willing To Engage In Conversation Before I Decide To Accept. If I've got nothing else to go on, and I'm in a gregarious enough mood, I'll take one final step before hitting "ignore": I'll send a message to the person asking for some help in figuring out who they are. This can be done politely enough.

In the case of my mystery request, since all I had was a random name, no info, no profile, and a meaningless picture, I sent a message saying, "Forgive me, but have we met? If not, what made you choose me as someone to send a friend request to?"

Well, I never got a response from the mystery requester. In fact, in short order the friend request itself disappeared - had I scared this person off by asking such a basic question? Or, had I in fact successfully filtered a wacko? I'll never know for sure. If he was trying to network, he certainly was not doing it well!

By the way, if you would like to friend me on Facebook, feel free. Just make sure, please, to give me some idea of who you are!

Twittering Away in Amish Country

I am honored to have been included in the Lancaster Twitterati roll call created by Daniel Klotz of the Lancaster Chamber of Commerce. Folks, if you have any connection at all to Lancaster, PA, whether as a tourist or as a current or former resident, and if you are currently on Twitter or are considering joining, these are the folks you want to follow!

One of the pluses of having some extra time on my hands recently is that I have had the opportunity to catch up with some old friends, forge new friendships with some very good folks, and reconnect with the goings-on in my own town. The folks you'll find in the Lancaster Twitterati list are a large part of what rekindled that hometown pride.

Twitter, like any other Social Network, does have a global reach. But one of the neatest aspects of Twitter is its ability to bring together a strong local community, who can not only serve as ambassadors for their locale but can also work together to improve it.

If you are reading this saying, "Great, Bryan, but I'm not in Lancaster, PA, and have no reason ever to be," I say to you: Create the Twitterati Roll Call for your town. Build the group that will welcome travelers to your community, that will foster that sense of local pride, and who can be your ambassadors to the Twitter universe. Not sure who those folks might be? There is a great piece of Freeware called TwitterLocal that allows you to filter down your Twitter stream to a particular zip code or area, and can give you a start on discovering your Twitterati.

Oh, and even if you're not from around here, consider following the folks on the Lancaster Twitterati list. I can attest to the fact that they are among the most friendly, open, and occasionally goofy group of folks you'll find.

Oh No, It's Bebo!

I admit it: I'm a social networking junkie. I have a great time checking in with my online friends on a daily basis, sharing snippets of my life and catching glimpses of theirs. While it is certainly no substitute for actual human interaction, there is a definite sense of community found among those of us who are conducting this "virtual social life". And, the online neighborhood has no physical boundaries. My network, for example, includes folks from as far away as Amsterdam, Indonesia and Australia as well as friends who literally live a few blocks from my house.

As I am still a relative "rookie" in the Social Networking world, and there are a wide assortment of Social Networks out there to choose from, I try each one out in order to find which fit my personality best. I have presently settled into four main services: Facebook is far and away the best I have used, combining a user-friendly interface and a variety of privacy levels with an assortment of games, discussion groups, and other interactive services; it is my main network online. Twitter is a close second, with its "online cocktail party" vibe; here is where I have met the most new and intriguing people. Linked-In is an absolute necessity for maintaining a professional network; here I maintain existing business contacts as well find new ones. MySpace, while definitely geared towards a younger main demographic than I fit into, is useful for keeping in touch with some of my former employees as well as keeping up with bands I enjoy. There are other networks online that I am in for various purposes (MyBlogLog, for example, now that I've entered the blogosphere), but those four are the hub of my online life.

A couple of days ago, I was introduced to Bebo. Now, there have been sites that I have tried and decided weren't for me, but never before a site that I'm sorry I ever came into contact with. Folks, let me tell you about the fun that Bebo injected into my world...

Like any other social site, Bebo wanted to know about me - who am I, where am I, what do I like -- you know the drill. I dutifully filled out my profile, and onto the next step: are any of my existing contacts already on Bebo, and if not do I want to invite them? Again, pretty standard fair. Plug in your address book and let it determine who matches up to the current roster, and hit a button to send automated invites to those who aren't. Simple, right?

A few of my contacts were already on Bebo, so I wanted to add them to friends list. However, when I'm trying out a new service, I don't want to invite my whole network willy-nilly until I have had the chance to see whether I'm even sticking around. On most sites, this is easily accomplished - and the steps to accomplish it clearly indicated. Bebo is not so clear when it comes to navigating its auto-invite page, but I'm a smart guy. Should be no problem. Ahem.

In a matter of moments, a few acceptances trickled into my inbox, including one name I didn't remember being on the list of friends already on Bebo. Hmmm...maybe I missed that one or it just didn't register. Oh well, good to have friends...wait a minute, now I know I didn't invite THAT person yet. What's going on here?

Within about fifteen minutes, what had happened became embarrassingly clear: Bebo had, despite my wishes, sent invites to my entire address book. What's more, somehow invites had also gone out to every single email address found on any email in my inbox...including several people I don't even know!

Now my inbox was being bombarded with confused emails from strangers asking who I was, how I had their email, and in one or two cases telling me in less than polite terms that I should never email them again, and suggesting places I might stick the invitation.

Damage control time! As quickly as I could, I put together an auto-response that would go out to anyone sending me an email explaining what had happened and apologizing profusely. Many folks were understanding - thankfully so. But I was still left wondering how in Blue Hell this happened. Had I really misread the instructions? Had I picked up some sort of Bebo virus?

One of my favorite type of Google searches to do if I want to find out about a company, product, or website, is search for "________ sucks" -- if you get a small number of search results, you know that not many have gone online to voice complaint. My search for "Bebo sucks", however, returned page after page of results, including this remarkably similar tale. And my personal favorite, here, complete with a call to arms that my post here responds to.

The good news: after three or four days, everything seems to have settled back down. Clearly, there are those who use Bebo and are fine with it. I am not one who wants to work with a site that spams my entire email universe, though, so I went to cancel the account. Surprise, surprise - even though there is a link to click to cancel, all of the sudden Bebo doesn't recognize my password in order to allow me to delete the account (even though I just used that password not a minute before to log in to the site in the first place!)

Facebook is wonderful. Twitter is outstanding. Linked-In is excellent. MySpace serves its purpose well. Bebo = FAIL.