New Wave for the New Week #140

This time of year, radio station playlists seem to fill up with the usual Christmas fare.  For the past 28 (!) years, those Yuletide playlists have included The Waitresses' holiday hit, "Christmas Wrapping."  So, no surprise to have already heard it several times this year. I will admit to a chuckle, however, when I heard one DJ refer to The Waitresses as "one hit wonders," referring to their annual classic as being their one hit. While they were never a chart-topping act, they had at least three singles receive notable mainstream success - that's more hits than many acts can claim!

The Waitresses started life as an imaginary band in Akron, Ohio, circa 1978.  Chris Butler had been playing with the band Tin Huey, when he noticed that the bands that were breaking big out of the scene in Ohio (The Dead Boys, Pere Ubu, Devo, etc.) were doing so by heading to New York and merging into the CBGB's crowd.  Wanting to let the world know that Ohio was a happening place, he and musician/producer Liam Sternberg came up with the idea of putting together a compilation where the joke would be that none of the bands actually existed, but were really all Chris and Liam (as he explained in the liner notes to one of the many "Best Of" compilations of Waitresses material, reprinted here).

By the time the first piece of Waitresses vinyl appeared, the Short Stack 7-inch, in 1978, there still wasn't an actual band.  The record's A-side, a Devo-esque track called "Clones," was quite different from the funkier and more accessible B-side, "Slide."  Neither sound anything like what The Waitresses would eventually become; legend says that both tracks were actually Chris and Liam with Tin Huey backing them up.

Butler had a knack for writing songs from a female perspective, and soon went in search of female vocalist to bring those works to life.  Enter Patty Donahue, who would join the band in time for their next recorded output, a song called "The Comb."  Liam Sternberg had become the in-house producer for Stiff Records and had apparently never forgotten the idea for a compilation of Ohio bands; by the time The Akron Compilation hit the shelves in early 1979, there were plenty of real bands sprouting up in the second wave of the Ohio scene.  The Waitresses were represented by "The Comb" and "Slide" (while "Clones" ended up being a hidden track on the end of the comp).

By the turn of the decade, Butler had followed the path of many others to New York with Donahue in tow.  There, The Waitresses' lineup was soon rounded out by ex-Television drummer Billy Ficca, saxophonist Mars Williams, keyboardist Dan Klayman and bass player Tracy Wormworth. They became a popular live band, and in 1981 contributed "Christmas Wrapping" to Ze Records' holiday compilation A Christmas Record. A year earlier, Ze had released The Waitresses' second single, "I Know What Boys Like."  It was with these releases that The Waitresses found their signature sound - a funky New Wave vibe with horns that were far less skronky than the concurrent No Wave scene happening in the Big Apple, with Patty Donahue's unmistakeably sarcastic vocals layered over top. Trouser Press described her style quite accurately: "she doesn't sing so much as carry a simultaneous conversation and tune."

The band soon signed to Polydor Records, who in 1982 reissued the "I Know What Boys Like" single.  This time it caught on thanks to a quirky video getting airplay on MTV, and the song soon became a cult hit which is to this day a New Wave staple.  On the basis of that success, The Waitresses were tapped to sing the theme song for the TV series Square Pegs.  The wonderfully-titled I Could Rule the World If I Could Only Get the Parts EP appeared soon after, containing two of their three biggies, "Christmas Wrapping" and "Square Pegs," along with three more similarly snarky tracks.  The success of that record led to a full album, Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful?, which made "I Know What Boys Like" available on LP, but otherwise contained new material that followed the standard Waitresses formula.  Some tracks are very good ("No Guilt", "It's My Car"), while others start to sound a bit repetitive.

When their second album arrived in 1984, the snarkiness was wisely toned down a bit.  Bruiseology showed great promise in its lead single, the perfectly wonderful "Make The Weather."  Unfortunately, the band was going through a great deal of internal strife during the recording of the album, resulting in Patty Donahue walking out of the band and several tracks needing to be finished without her.  As a result, the album is a bit shaky at points, although still recommended.

With Donahue gone, Butler called on Holly Beth Vincent to join the band as the new frontwoman.  She toured with the band for a few weeks, but it just wasn't a fit, and before long Patty was back.  It seemed The Waitresses were back on track, but it didn't click. By the end of 1984, The Waitresses were done with no more material released.

Chris Butler stayed involved in the music business, mainly doing production work and songwriting.  The most visible members of the band these days are Mars Williams, who is currently touring with The Psychedelic Furs, and Tracy Wormworth, who has been playing off and on with The B-52's for several years.  Sadly, Patty Donahue passed away in December 1996 after battling lung cancer for a year.

For this week's NW4NW, here are the clips for the classic "I Know What Boys Like" and the excellent "Make The Weather." Then, as a Christmas bonus, a fan-made video for "Christmas Wrapping." Merry Christmas!

Six Word Sunday

Heat is too expensive. Wear sweaters.

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

Oh boy, am I a lucky guy! Apparently, I've won $68,000 dollars! Let the singing and dancing in the streets commence!

Pictured is the letter I received from World Link Finance Inc. informing me that was one of the "lucky winners" in a "Publisher's Clearing house [sic]" Compensation Draw Sweepstakes, and I've won a lump sum of $68K which will be delivered to me by special courier.  Can you imagine the joy?  I'm already spending the money in my head!

"Lucky" is absolutely the right word, too!  You wanna know just how lucky I am? I won a sweepstakes that I never even entered! That's right, read 'em and weep: all you chumps out there who think you have to play to win - I just proved you wrong!

I'll be contacting my File Agent on Monday to start the claiming process.  These folks thought of everything! They even sent me an advance check of $3866 to cover the Government Service Tax and Insurance! All I have to do is cash that check and wire them back $2976.55 of it, and I'm on my way to riches, baby!

Sure, I find it a little strange that the good folks at World Link Finance Inc. sent the letter to me in an envelope bearing the logo and name of Hudson's Bay Co., and that the check bears the logo and name of a company called Tahitian Noni.  I figure that must be some sort of security measure. A simple Google search tells me that  Hudson's Bay Co. happens to be the oldest commercial corporation in North America and today is a retail clothier throughout Canada, and that Tahitian Noni is a multi-level marketing company promoting a health drink.  My guess is that World Link Finance uses their names and logos to throw others off the track: greedy relatives and friends will just think I'm shopping for clothes or getting paid for marketing a beverage rather than winning a sweepstakes, and won't come begging for money.  Pretty smart, World Link Finance!

You see, I did my homework!  I know World Link Finance Inc. uses top-level security, because they can't even be found in a Google search! I looked up their address on Google Street View, and as you can see, they take security so seriously that they even camouflage their offices.  You wouldn't even know they were there! So, before you ask, that's also probably why a finance company in New York City has a phone number with a Toronto area code.  It all makes perfect sense!

And how considerate of them to rely on me to handle the Government Service Tax and Insurance, rather than simply taking the funds they sent to me and just delivering them to the proper authorities!  They were nice enough to send more funds than needed, so I get to have a little extra spending cash for Christmas. Happy Holidays, World Link Finance!  Now, I had never heard of "Government Service Tax and Insurance," so I turned to Google once again.  Google couldn't point me to any place that told me exactly what it was, but it did show me that lots of other winners were supposed to pay the same thing, so it must be legit, right?

The check itself is a thing of genius, sheer genius! My scanner kind of picked up the watermark, which clearly says "void" on it - obviously a way to test bank employees to make sure they're validating these checks!  Why, with security measures that advanced, how could this be anything but the real deal?

Those clever bastards even managed to keep my name entirely off the actual letter, and rather than have it signed by anyone, they had it "approved" by Mark Stines. He's a Vice President of Global Operations, so he  must be very important.  Just look at his smiling, trustworthy face right there at the bottom of my letter.  You know he's got to be a big muckety-muck, because he looks an awful lot like another Vice President of Global Operations, Vernon Kimberly, of C&C Services Inc.  I found a picture of one their letters to another winner online.
 
Almost an eerie resemblance, isn't it? But you know, put those bigwigs in their monkey suits and you can't tell 'em apart, right?

What? Scam? Whaddaya mean scam?  Naw, you're just saying that because you're envious of my good fortune!  Why, I bet next you'll be telling me that there really is no Nigerian Prince who needs my help in secretly moving millions of dollars out of his country, and is willing to split the funds with me 50/50!

I'm rich, rich I tell ya!

This is Number Three

Today marks three years of existence for this li'l ol' blog o' mine!  Talk about time flying! Hard to believe that much time has passed since I sat down one afternoon and pounded out my first rant, in this case about people who seem unable to grasp that they are the ones slowing traffic at Lancaster's otherwise wonderful Central Market.

In the three years since then, over 10,000 unique visitors have stopped by to spend a little time here.  That amazes me. Not because I think I'm uninteresting, but rather I am amazed by the sheer scope of reach my words have here.  When I was doing my radio show in Richmond, VA, many years back, I don't think I reached 10,000 people!  Certainly I didn't reach folks from so many varied locations.  You've come to my blog from Spain, Japan, New Zealand, the UK, Sweden, Malaysia, Croatia and more other countries than I can list here.  In fact, six of the seven continents have sent readers to this blog (only Antarctica remains - come on, where are my Antarctic readers?!?).

Please know I am grateful for you all, whether you're a regular subscriber here or you just stumbled on the blog by chance and decided to read a post or two.  I am always open to your thoughts and suggestions on how to improve - what would you like to see more of? Less of? Want to suggest a band for an NW4NW post? Interested in writing a guest post?  Let me know!

If you're on Facebook and haven't already "liked" the blog's page, please consider doing so.  On occasion I put bits and pieces up there that don't make the cut for the blog itself.  If you're on Twitter, you can follow the blog's Twitter account, @TWIWGTS.

I'm looking forward to what the next year brings - I hope you are too!  In the meantime, join me in celebrating our Happy Third Anniversary!

Six Word Sunday

This year flew by too quickly.

New Wave for the New Week #139

Canadian-born Jeff Plewman has been making fascinating music since 1975, although you have likely never heard of him.  An incredibly talented individual, Jeff seems capable of playing any instrument you hand him. He is best known, however, for his work with electric violin and mandolin, often processed further through assorted synthesizers and, as he refers to them, "devices."  He has toured with Gary Numan and Iggy Pop, among others, and he is still going strong in 2011, having just released a fine retrospective compilation of his career's work. But if you go to your favorite record store (or, as I guess we must say in 21st century, "music source") and ask for Jeff Plewman's latest release, you'll get little more than funny looks. Jeff doesn't record or perform under his given name.  Jeff records and performs with his head and face wrapped mummy-like in bandages, wearing tuxedo and top hat, and goes only by the name Nash The Slash.

It wasn't always thus.  Nash started out as a normal, unbandaged musician as part of a Canadian mid-70's progressive band called FM (think long hair and long, long songs).  After FM released their first album, Nash struck out on his own, beginning with 1978's Bedside Companion. At the time this four-song instrumental EP was released, as the cover art reveals, the top hat and jacket were already in place, but the bandages didn't appear until the following year.  During a 1979 tour, with the crisis at Three Mile Island having just occured, Nash wanted to make a statement about the dangers of a nuclear meltdown. He appeared onstage one night wrapped in bandages dipped in phosphorescent paint as a warning that "this may happen to you!" The bandages quickly became a trademark, and he has not appeared in public unwrapped ever since.

1979 also saw Nash's first full-length LP, Dreams And Nightmares. Following the debut EP stylistically but beginning to add vocals to the mix, Nash slashed out a sound not far removed from German electronic noodlers like Kraftwerk or Tangerine Dream. In 1997 both the EP and this first LP were combined onto one CD as Blind Windows.  Setting his sights on the pop music world next, Nash released a cover of Jan & Dean's "Dead Man's Curve" in 1980 to positive acclaim.  The follow-up album, Children Of The Night, included that single as well as a few other covers ("19th Nervous Breakdown," "Smoke On The Water") as well as the usual experimental instrumental pieces.  Covering well-known songs made Nash more accessible, but also threatened to paint him into a corner as a gimmick act - and the hidden-identity/bizarre cover songs gimmick was already taken by The Residents (with whom Nash was briefly associated).

Nash answered his critics with his most wonderful album, 1982's And You Thought You Were Normal, which split the difference with one side of fairly standard New Wave pop and one side of instrumental noodling, and no cover versions to be found in either basket.  Nash scored a club hit with the album's single, "Dance After Curfew;" other notable cuts include "Pretty Folks," "Vincent's Crows," and the utterly majestic "Citizen" ("I've got nothing to hide/I just can't decide/Am I just a citizen?").  Then, in the ultimate thumb-your-nose-at-your-detractors move, he followed that two years later with an album full of nothing but cover songs! American Bandages found Nash slashing up the theme from American Bandstand, "Born To Be Wild," "Psychotic Reaction," and "Hey Joe" among others, while also taking another stab at "Dead Man's Curve."  The song from which the titular pun was taken, Grand Funk Railroad's "(We're An) American Band," gets a slight rewrite given that Nash always performs completely solo; hence he sings, "I'm an American Band."  Brilliant.

Having made his point, Nash pulled a most unexpected move and returned to his old bandmates, rejoining FM, although he retained the now-standard Nash The Slash uniform.  While spending the next few years playing with FM, Nash also dabbled in film scores and other production work.  But it wasn't until 1991 that we got the next solo Nash The Slash album, his soundtrack to Highway 61. 1999's Thrash demonstrated handily that Nash had not missed a step in his instrumental work; 2008's In-A-Gadda-Da-Nash equally proved he still knew his way around a goofy cover version or two.  In between those two albums, Nash issued a stunning score he created for the silent horror classic Nosferatu. Is there anything this guy can't do?

Despite all his work and critical acclaim - both from the music press and his fellow musicians - Nash The Slash remains relatively obscure. This year's The Reckless Use Of Electricity, a handy compendium of Nash's finer moments, is a welcome introduction for those new to this fascinating musician's oddly mesmerizing world of sound.  Get it.

For this week's NW4NW, here is some early-80s vintage Nash The Slash. First, the clip for his breakthrough cover of "Dead Man's Curve," then his club hit, "Dance After Curfew."  Enjoy!

Six Word Sunday

I want one I can't have.

FAIL.

NaNoWriMo is done. Over.  And I failed.

I tried; I really did. 50,000 words is a lot, sure, but it wasn't an unachievable goal.  Many folks reached or surpassed that number.  Hell, in the NaNoWriMo Group on Facebook, there were folks who cranked out nearly half of the target in the first week alone.  Many folks "won" this year by reaching or surpassing 50,000 words, and I applaud them. It ain't easy to do!

To say I fell short of the mark would be an understatement.  At month's end I had just shy of 10,000 words - less than a fifth of the goal.  (OK, confession time: I really probably wrote closer to 25,000 words if you count everything I wrote and then immediately discarded as being worthless, terrible, or downright embarrassingly poor writing. Still, that's only half the way there.)

It was not for lack of ideas.  I had plenty of them - scribbled on scraps of paper and backs of envelopes, recorded on the Voice Memo app on my iPhone, swirling through my mind at night keeping me awake.  What I seemed incapable of doing was distilling those ideas down to basic English words and phrases and putting them on paper or screen in any way that resembled a coherent story.

It was not for lack of support.  Many friends spent the month cheering me on, pushing me along, letting me vent my frustrations and telling me to shut up and write when the situation called for it.  Thank you all; I apologize for not completing the task despite your best efforts and your good advices.

I spent more than one night staring at a blank screen, willing myself with all my might to start putting words down, and feeling that internal block pushing back just as mightily.  I tried everything: write meaningless bullshit until the words start flowing, write about a character going through the mundane actions of the day until he or she does something interesting, create dialogue equivalent to small talk between characters and let that conversation build.

I tried to write with music on. I tried to write with music off. I turned off my modem so that I would not be distracted by the Internet and Facebook and Twitter.  I tried writing in different rooms of the house. I tried writing outside of the house. I tried writing at different times of the day. And I grew more frustrated as the month wore on, and I saw - and felt - the time slip away with little progress being made.

I discovered a few things.  I don't write in chronological order; rather, I start to delve into a scene no matter where it is in the story's timeline.  Hey, I figure when the words actually do flow, who am I to stop the current simply because I haven't yet written the chapter before it?  My secondary characters are more fully fleshed out than my main characters.  The MCs have become little more than the vehicles for the inherent conflict that drives the story, whereas the SCs with whom they interact along the way have evolved into almost real people.  I kept thinking that if only I could get to know the MCs as well as I did the SCs, then things would really start to happen. Unfortunately, they hid their true selves from me.  I still don't even know their last names.  (Oh, don't get me started on naming characters...one character has had her name changed at least four or five times already...)

To top it all off, as I dug deeper into the story, I opened a door that created an entire second cast of characters and a completely new subplot.  That happened around the 20th day of the month, and while it was a breakthrough for the story, it sealed my fate for NaNoWriMo - it was just too much to think about.

So, I failed.  I didn't reach my goal. I didn't "win" NaNoWriMo.  But, I'm glad I did it, and I'm sure when I am finished beating myself up for not reaching 50,000 words I will see the positives of doing it.  People are already trying to show them to me: made a major plot breakthrough, have 10,000 more words than I did on November 1, am continuing to learn about and improve my own writing style and habits, and so forth.  On a certain level I know that, but right now I'm not ready to accept it.  Right now, in my mind, I failed.  Let me wallow in that for awhile, please. I need to do so to process it.

I will keep writing the story.  But I know now that it'll be slow going.  And next year, just maybe I'll come back and take on NaNoWriMo again.

It's Gonna Be A Punk Rock Christmas

I'm not quite sure how I missed The Angry Snowmans the first time around two years ago when they released their first album full of Christmas joy, especially considering my annual search for cool and unusual holiday music for the CD mix I make for friends each year, but I did.  My bad; my head is hung by the chimney in shame.

But lo, I have been shown the light with this year's release of their follow up album.  These guys are simply geniuses!  Punk rock parody is not an easy feat; attempts usually fall flat because people forget that at the heart of the best parody you find honest tribute.  These Snowmans know their Punk Rock and play it well, and will leave you laughing (and pogo-ing) all the way as they transform old mosh-pit classics into new Christmas carols.  They carry the joke to its fullest extreme, too; from the band's name itself (hello, Angry Samoans!) to each album's cover art.  The 2009 self-titled debut pays homage to The Adolescents' first LP, with a yuletide red/green color scheme in place of the original's red/blue; this year's offering, the brilliantly titled What We Do Is Festive, takes on the appearance of The Germs' (GI), with holly wreath in place of that band's blue circle logo.

A quick scan of the song titles will bring a smile to any old-school punk's face, as many of those titles immediately reveal their source material, from the debut's "Richard Hung His Sock," "Blitzen Bop," "Ebeneezer Über Alles," and "Somebody's Gonna Get Their Halls Decked In Tonight" to the new record's title track and "I Love Christmas In The City."  In other cases, the presents are only unwrapped upon listening: "Decoration" takes on The Circle Jerks' "Operation," "Egg Nog" is a brilliant holiday reworking of Black Flag's "Six Pack," Agent Orange's classic "Bloodstains" is reimagined by these Snowmans as "Fruitcakes."

What makes it all work on both records is that, snarky humor aside, these guys are a damn good band! The music is tight, fast and loud - and, most importantly, accurate.  In a few cases you'd swear they used the original tracks and just recorded new vocals, but these guys actually play live! Dates so far have been only on the West Coast (they are from Victoria, British Columbia, so it's easy enough for them to make the Seattle-to-California circuit); wish they'd find their way over here to PA.

Both albums are available as digital downloads for a measly $8 a piece from The Angry Snowmans' Bandcamp.com site;  physical copies are also available from the band themselves (I picked up the debut on CD and What We Do Is Festive on Christmas-y red vinyl - score!).  Get yourself over there and get them downloaded, and fill your home with their special brand of Christmas cheer!

To ring in the holiday season, here's The Angry Snowmans' take on the Angry Samoans, "Lights Up." Enjoy!

New Wave for the New Week #138

Husband and wife Randy Stodola (guitar) and Dianne Chai (bass) first made noise in the L.A. Punk scene as two-thirds of The Alley Cats.  With drummer John McCarthy rounding out the trio, The Alley Cats issued their debut single, "Nothing Means Nothing Anymore," on the influential Dangerhouse label in 1978.  Playing a swampy style of garage punk that placed them somewhere along the spectrum between X and The Gun Club, The Alley Cats proved to be a popular live act.  Chai's exotic look and outstanding proficiency on bass was an obvious drawing card; she and Stodola shared lead vocal duties, a large part of the band's unique personality and appeal. That first single is probably the closest they ever got to capturing the reported energy of their live shows on any of their recordings, however, and over the years The Alley Cats have somewhat faded into history.

It would be three years until their first full length LP appeared.  After signing with indy label Time Coast, they released Nightmare City and its concurrent single, "Too Much Junk."  A decent-to-very-good album, it not only boasted the new single but several other excellent tracks ("Give Me A Little Pain," "Today," "One More Chance to Survive") and a snappy re-recording of "Nothing Means Nothing Anymore."  Although the album drags in a few places and Stodola's lazy enunciation comes off as somewhat affected at points (and somewhat grating at others), those bright spots make it a hidden gem worth digging up.  Nightmare City was eventually reissued on CD, but has been out of print for some time.

1982 saw The Alley Cats make another change in labels, this time landing on MCA for their follow-up album, Escape From The Planet Earth.  Despite receiving the typical major-label treatment (slick, sheeny production that sands off the rough edges and a few obvious bids at commercial radio airplay), the band's personality is still evident here.  Highlights include "Breath Of The Barfly," "Waiting For The Buzz," "Just An Alley Cat," and the fantastic title track.  The band pushed their envelope a bit on this record, and not everything works, but nonetheless it's an album worth searching for.

After a few year's hiatus, the trio returned with a brand new name.  Their ongoing game of label hopscotch continued as they found themselves back on Time Coast, but now rechristened as The Zarkons despite no change in line up or sound.  1985's Riders In The Long Black Parade treads similar sonic waters as Nightmare City, although not as successfully.  What sounded fresh in 1981 now seemed stale, and lukewarm production with vocals buried too deeply in the mix didn't help.  The high point of the album, Chai doing her best Grace Slick imitation on a cover of "White Rabbit," was somewhat underwhelming; the remainder of the record is not bad - just unnecessary.

Changing drummers and adding a fourth member, The Zarkons were back in 1988 with Between the Idea and the Reality...Falls the Shadow, about which the less said the better.  The band broke up soon after.

A "best of" compilation, 1979-1982, appeared in 2007, pulling ten tracks from the two Alley Cats albums and nothing from either Zarkons record (although inexplicably excluding undeniable classics like "Nothing Means Nothing," "Too Much Junk," or "Give Me A Little Pain").  The accompanying DVD with five video clips is a nice touch, however, and this CD remains the only in-print example of The Alley Cats' work.

For this week's NW4NW entry, here are two clips of the band performing live.  First up is "Too Much Junk," followed by the band's appearance in the must-see URGH! A Music War scorching through "Nothing Means Nothing Anymore."  Enjoy!